not posted in so long!

the most annoying thing just happened to me, i typed out a whole post then it refreshed and deleted sigh. ill have to go again.
right this is kindof what i typed;
hey guys, i havent posted in so lobng, my blog seems so neglected and boring, i dont really have any excuses for not posting other than laziness,forgetfulness and erm, laziness again. im going to try and post atleast three blogs a week from now on, but thats not a promise so please try not to expect a lot from me!
im pleased to see the little fishes on the side of my blog have not died from lak of foo, after this post i plan to cover their little pond thing with food.
i have good news people, ive finnished all of my exams and handed in all of my coursework on time! now i just have to wait until august 23rd to revieve my results! another piece of good news i have is me and Rahis will have been together for one whole year on july 16th. this is my longest relationship so far an i fully intend to marry this beautiful human being, dont worry i am not going to go into any soppy lovey dover romance bull shit as that is simply not my style! thats all the good news i have if im being honest, ive reconected abit with old friends, but that just made me realise how much things have changed, i feel as though i have become a completely ifferent person to who i really am, i dont know what to do anymore if im being honest.
anyways, enough about my life, ive noticed alot of girls around my age (15-18) have started to become young mothers, dont get me wrong i have nothing against them,my mum had me when she was 17 and i love a baby myself, but realistically is it the best option? your still living at home with your parents, you dont have a job or any alevel qualifications, what can you give to this child? sure you can love him/her but love wont buy it clothes and food, and if you have to ask your parents for money to help bring the chld up you clearly shoulnt have one, i honestly have nothing against you young mothers, just if i had a child now, id give it up for adoption, then someone could give it all the things that i couldnt, id want my child to have a perfect life even if i couldnt give them that, thats why i intend to wait till i have a stable job and a happy mariage untill i reproduce my minature evil genius'.
another thing that u wanted to speak about is prom, my prom was on the 28th of june 2012, im not gonna lie, i didnt have an amazingly super fun day, i had an okay day, i did some sheesha, had some fun, chilled in a limmo etc, i DID NOT drink, as i am a good girl. the reason my day wasnt ssuper fantastic was i did not like the way i looked at all, ill upload a picture for everyone to see, dont get me wrong i dont think i look ridiculously ugly, just fat, im so concerned about my weight at the moment..

oh and here is me an my beautiful boyfriend, he told me for three weeks he wasnt aloud to come to prom, so i spent 3 weeks worrying about him being unhappy on the day et, then right n the middle of the day, he waltzes over to me, in a suit like "hello baby" i was so excited to see him i actually screamed a little bit, oh and his excuse for pretending to not come was to make me happy, which to be honest worked, he suprised me by being there and my day that whole lot better!

well fellow bloggers, i will try to post again on monday night! no promises! love you all.

Hello stalkerss

Right, i dont really have much to say thats important today, firstly, i had 3 exams, chemistry, god i actually think i scraped  a C, it was such an easy paper, with english i  think ive done ok:/ not perfect though, i forgot to  talk about language through out the poems :( wahhh *crys*  oh and i didnt even try to do well on the alan test, i couldnt concentrate.
im so onfident for my physics test now though, actually got 31 on a paper without even cheating, thats like atleast a B! im really looking forward to result day, im hoping i get good enough grades for my mum to treat me to an iphone or a samsung galaxy s3 fingers crossed.i read a propper emotional note on facebook about premature babys this morning, i actually cried at it, t brought back so many memories of my little brother,but who would believe danny (ill put a piture of him below) was three months early? certainly not me, hes such a little fatty now!all grown up and independant!

look at him!such a little fatty! anyway i thought id repost the note, just incase anyone was wonderng about it, f not skip past it :), i recomend you read it though, even if youve never experienced the life or birth of a prem baby, its something worth reading:

The premmie experience is the shattering of all your dreams for a normal, healthy delivery, of the ability to carry home a beautiful squirming bundle after a short stay in the hospital.

It is lying in your hospital room listening to the happy sounds of whole families joined together by the birth of a grandchild, cousin, niece or nephew, and knowing that your child is miles away and may not survive long enough for you to see or simply touch.

It is the first glimpse of a skinny, scrawny, not much bigger than a Barbie doll child and feeling fear, awe, and joy for such a fragile soul.

It is sitting by your baby's "bedside" day after day, week after week, month after month, alternating between the emotional high of "Look, her eyes are open," or "She's crying!" and the lows of "I'm sorry. Something has shown up on the ultrasound," or even " There is nothing more we can do......"

It is hearing the alarms go off for the twentieth time in less than fifteen minutes because your child's heart rate keeps hitting zero.

It is watching children dying around you, wondering if your child will be next.

It is hearing your child's cry of distress as the nurses insert yet another IV or do another round of daily blood tests.

It is meeting other parents of children who are doing better and wondering, "why me?" And meeting parents of children who have just died and praising God for His mercy to your child and feeling guilty because your child is alive and someone esle is grieving for theirs.

It is the days of nightmarish tests and coping with less than positive results from them.

It is days of joy at seeing the first eyelash appear, the child gain a whole ounce in a day and two bright shiny eyes look at you and into your soul, or perhaps looks at you and does not see you at all.......

It is the final hurdle before coming home!

It is the joy of just being away from all those nurses and tubes and wires and beeps, and walking into a nursery you hastily prepared because, after all, the child wasn't due for another three months!!

It is thinking the nightmare is over.....only to realise that it still continues in the form of such acronyms as PVL, RSV, BPD, CP and numerous others. It is the final realisation that these developmental delays have to be dealt with, that reflux is a normal and unfortunate occurrence in most premmie's, that the constant fight to gain weight is in direct proportion to a premmie's inability to do so.

It is watching a child struggle to pick up his or her head, sit, crawl, or walk.

It is witnessing only silence when the child should be babbling because the child cannot hear.

It is the mental images of a child running and playing with other in a perfectly normal manner that are marred when you face years of therapy in order to simply get the child to eat by himself or herself, or talk, or walk and then run.

The premmie experience is a journey....... a journey through your soul in order to find the faith and strength to cope, ajourney of the mind when you face the emotional weariness, a journey of the heart...to accept that, no matter what, this child is yours, and you will love this child no matter what!

Sandra Moore, "The Premmie Experience"

wow, i know right.

OH EM GE.

i had so much other stuff to write about today, but i just watched the series finale of vampire diaries and OH MY GOD.
i thought klaus died, so i cried. then i realised tyler was dying, and cried, BUT THEN BONNIE DID A SPELL WHICH PUT KLAUS IN TYLERS BODY, AND KLAUS IS STILL ALIVE, but tyler is deadd :(
RICK DIED i know toward the end he was an evil murdering vampire hunter and vampire, but deep down he was still our rick.
then Elena chose steffan over damon, and i totes cried my eyes out for damon when shee told him, then ELENA TURNED INTO A VAMPIRE oh my actual days, im so fucking excited for series four, i cannot describe how excited i am, ALL OF THE ORIGINALS ARE ALIVE AND WELL, although rebecca, ellijah and cole think klaus is dead, and elena is a vampire, i cant breathe oh god.
to anyone that dosnt watch vampire diaries, sorry about that, i just couldnt contain myself.
all of the other things i had to say have completely left my head now :(
my hayfever i killing me, i think i overdosed on them this morning because i was feeling rather light headed all the way through my english exam, on the exam front i think i did alright, not better than last time but fingers crosses i managed to get that A.
oh and now i have FOUR EXAMS ON THURSDAY instead of three, kill me now please? do my teachers actually hate me?
on the current sunshine situation, its TOO hot for my liking (never pleased me),the temperature has infact doubled sine yesterday, and aparently will continue to get hotter, just what i need a tan. im already brown so when my skin tans it litterally looks like ive been rolled in dirt and caked in a mud pie, it does NOT look attractive at all.

the prom dress people emailed me btw, the dress is back on! they apologised for everything and it will arrive within five days! so happy!

im obsessed.

i am actually so hooked on Game Of Thrones, its actually so amazing, i just wish they would show more of the Khaleesi man :( my favorite storyline is only in it for like five minuets of the show, fuck sake -_- and Bran and Rickon are still alive woo! life is beautiful.

im so bored.

im writing this to express my boredom, i have an english exam tomorrow but how do you revise for english? ive read the books one million times and written 100 practice essays, to be fair i dont really understand why im re taking this stupid english exam anyway, i got a b last time -_- not even just scraped a B but two makes off an A, id say thats a solid B, Wendy is just being a bith and putting me under exam pressure, atleast i miss double english though, but then on thursday i have ANOTHER english exam. what kind of bullshit is that, seriously, thats so ridiculous, thursday morning i have two physics exams one after the other, meaning i have to miss my precious PD lessons, which were currently learning about chlamydiae (if thats how its spelt) in, and then i have to miss form time and do a two hour english exam, meaning i wont even finnish school untill like four, are you pissing me 0.o why cant i just be illiterate, life would be so much easier on the exam front, id probably just have to do those speaking and listening things where you babble on about your life...anyways like i said, im very bored, here is what i hope my hair will look like for prom:

i so highly doubt it will end up looking like this though *sigh*, ive also noticed i have way to many bag and shoes, i dont even use half of them, i think im gonna give them to a charity shop :)

took me ages to make this work on my mobile -_-

Well after two attempts at changing my password and endless attempts to log in, I have finally got blog spot to work on my mobile :)!I'm loving this sunnnny weather seriously,I'm litteraly lying half naked on my trampoline sipping on sprite, ah the good life.The first reason I'm in a good mood,other than the weather is that I've just done two biology exams and I think they went really well, they wernt as easy as I hoped they would be, but I think I did pretty well considdering my hard work and revision!The second reason is I did a practice paper in physics today and got 38 out of 45 O.o that's like an A* man, sade denny the A* physics studen ;p I probably won't get such a great score in my physics exam though, fingers crossed I will :)But one bad thing is that I've come to the realisation that my prom dress just isn't going to arrive *sigh* it was supposed to be here like five days ago, and it hasn't even been dispatched yet, so mummys going to cancel the order *sigh* it was the PERFECT dress aswell:( but hopefully when we go shopping in sheffield ill find something even better!Well I don't really have much more to say today, other than I've started to realise how much I'm going to miss school when I leave! I'm going to miss every single person so much, because realistically I'm not gonna see half of my "bestfriends" am I?Anyways peace out I'm going to make some beans on toast :-)


oh and i forgot to mention; my mummys supposed to be buying me tickets to see tyga on the 19th june please dont forget mummmmmy

realllllllllllllllllllllllly wish id applied for more colleges now, it seems as though i just picked the easiest choice by applying for joseph wright, i honestly now regret not applying for milenium centre, it seems as though EVERYONE got in, and i already know derbymoors teachers and shit, eurgh. stress stress stress  really not prepared for half of these exams, English yeah sure im down with that? Biology? yep down with that, Physics..erm probably scrape a c, Chemistry LOL ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING IF I MANAGE TO SCRAPE A C I WILL ACTUALLY HG MR HILL, Maths?im going to fail..again, i think i have this thing called Dyscalculia "(or maths disability) is a specific learning disability involving innate difficulty in learning or comprehending arithmetic. It is akin to dyslexia and includes difficulty in understanding numbers, learning how to manipulate numbers, learning maths facts, and a number of other related symptoms " so that explains why im so epically bad at maths.